Spelling Bee

I'm the first to admit it. I am not a good speller. It's just one of those things. English doesn't have any rhyme or reason to the way things are spelled, so how am I supposed to know how to spell things.

The i before e rule only works half the time, I don't even know why we teach that one. Sometimes it's f, sometimes is ph, x can sound like a z, c and k are the same. Its a joke. Silent es are all over the place.

The worst is when you ask someone how to spell something and they say to look it up. Uh, if I don't know how to spell it, how am I supposed to look it up?

8-minute abs

8-minute abs is a joke. Anyone who has done them would agree. I mean, isn't the point of a workout to get stronger.

I didn't even feel sore the next day when I did 8-minute abs. I dropped out after the first 20 seconds and just laid there until the rest of the 8 minutes was up. It was way too hard.

But lets be honest, even if you have the strongest abs in the world buried under two inches of fat nobody is going to see your six pack...it will look more like a keg. If you want to work on your six pack, running on the tread mill might be more useful.

Anyway, I don't think any normal human being can actually do 8-minute abs. If you can...then you are not a normal human being...

Let Go

When you have a job, you can either quit, get fired, or be let go.

I recently learned about the difference between getting fired and being let go. Apparently being let go is the result of downsizing or related problems, where you didn't actually do a bad job, but they can't keep you.

I wonder if there is a word for a similar situation in dating relationships. I mean, you can break up with someone, be dumped or...what? What is the equivalent of being let go? You know, like when you are dating someone and they are doing a good job but you can't keep dating them because you are moving to China, or you ran out of money or something...I wonder.

Sith

I love fruit...fruit roll-ups, fruit snacks, trix...

Anyway, I had a deep thought earlier when talking with Rob. When Obi-Wan tells Anakin that "only a Sith deals in absolutes," was he admitting to being a Sith?

Robots

Jim: "Can Humans and Robots ever peacefully coexist?"
Dwight: "Impossible...with the way they're programmed."

Well, guess what. Robots will never take over the world. I saw WALL.E last night and couldn't ignore the fact that it is basically another movie about robots almost taking over the human race. This is not the first movie of its kind. There is iRobot, Eagle Eye, the Matrix, and 2001: A Space Odyssey to name a few.

But seriously, robots will never take over the world, and they will never have feelings and emotions...and that's all I have to say about that.

Afros

Afros aren't as "in" as they used to be. I mean, think about how many people used to have afros and don't any more.














Michael Jackson...
















Dr. J....














Me...
Who knows, maybe they will come back into style some day.

Olive Skin

Rob and I were talking about it the other day, and we decided that nobody actually has "olive" skin. I mean, take Jennifer Lopez for example. Most people would say that she has "olive" skin, but it does not look olive colored to me. It looks more like light brown/skin colored.


To illustrate this point, take a look at this picture of Jennifer Lopez, and then look at these olive. Same color? No, not really.






This is her with olive skin. I think the only people who could claim olive skin are Cain and the Wicked Witch of the West.

Restroom Music

I think public restrooms should provide music.

I mean, sometimes you go in there, there are only two stalls and one is used, so you have no choice but to pick the other one. So there you are, sitting there, maybe reading the paper, working on a crossword, but, without going into any detail, there are sounds that would be nice to have drowned out.

Maybe it would be different if you knew the other person, but for a stranger in the neighboring stall, the only thing you really know about them is their gender, and what kind of shoes they wear, and maybe their waist size if you have really good vision, depending on the stall set-up.

All I'm saying is a little background music could easy the awkwardness of the presently silent public restrooms.

Hat Day

Marie Munson, an elementary school teacher, recently reminded me of "days" that I had in elementary school.

There was "hat day," "pocket day," "backwards day," etc. I hope that wherever I end up working has some of those days.

That would be sweet.

Diversity Day

There are some actors who are very diverse, and some who are not. For example, Jon Voight is an extremely diverse actor. Maybe even too diverse. Seriously, for ANY movie you go to, regardless of genre, there is a possibility he is going to pop up somewhere, and you never know if he is going to be a good guy or a bad guy. Here are some movies he has been in:
National Treasurer - a kooky dad
Transformers - the secretary of defense
Holes - Mr. Sir
Tomb Raider - Lara Croft's dad (which is funny cause he really is Angelina's dad)
Zoolander - his dad
Anaconda - the bad guy
Mission Impossible - the bad guy
Catch-22 - a lieutenant

Then you have Nicolas Cage who plays the "you're supposed to like this guy by the end of the movie" good guy. For example:
National Treasurer
Gone in Sixty Seconds
The Rock (TV edit)
Con Air (TV edit)
The Family Man
I dunno, I guess he has some diversity, but I feel like he acts the same character in all his movies even if they are supposed to be different.

Literally

Vizzini: "He didn't fall? Inconceivable!"
Inigo: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means, what you think it means."

Yes, well I suggest another word that is commonly misused: literally.

How many times have you heard someone say something like, "I saw my score and I was literally bouncing of the walls!" Or how about, "That was a rough interview. He literally chewed her out!"

Ironically, in these situations "literally" has come to mean "figuratively." But if I hear another person use that word wrong I will hit them so hard they will literally be launched all the way to China.

No, I'm just kidding, it doesn't even bother me really. It's just funny to think about.

Kind of like how when someone says "Say when" we say "when" and we're not even trying to be funny. I bet whoever made that up thought it was really funny, but everyone stole his joke, so much so that it's not even a joke anymore.

Losing Pens

Where do my pens and pencils keep going? Every semester I buy more, and by the end I only have a couple left. I can only remember where one has gone this semester, and it was destroyed, eradicated by chemicals I spilled on it during my chem lab.

The rest seem to have spontaneously combusted...only a pile of green powder remains, I would guess.

Stepping Stones

These are the stepping stones at Santa Barbara Villa.

They are a perfect length from each other...if you are four years old. For us adults who live here, however, it makes for an awkward walk from your apartment to your car. You end up either taking babysteps the whole way, giant leaps to skip every other one, or you end up walking on the grass next to the steps (what I normally do), completely defeating the purpose of having them there.



It's kind of like when you are walking down steps that are really long (as in the photo on the left), and you end up taking one step on one, and then two steps on the next, and you end up looking like you have a peg leg. So, yeah...

Identity Theft

"Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!"

Yes, identity theft is a problem, and it brings up an interesting question. What would happen if I killed someone who had stolen my identity? Is it murder? Or is it suicide? Well, who did I kill? Myself, right? So it couldn't be murder. And in a court of law, I would win the case against it being suicide. Who would believe I committed suicide if I can tell them to their face that I didn't.

So-Cal 4-life!

Before I begin, I would like to say that I think southern California is a beautiful place, and I know lots of cool people from there.

Ok, how do you know when someone is from northern California? Because when they introduce themselves, they will say "I'm from California." If they were from southern California, they would have said, "I'm from southern California."

Maybe we should all start specifying which part of the state we're from.
"I'm from E-Mo."
"Where?"
"You know, Eastern Missouri."

Or how about people who say they're from the OC. They abbreviate the county they're from...and add 'the' in front of it for some reason. I guess I could do that too.

"Where specifically in Missouri are you from?"
"The WC."
"What is that, like, water closet?"
"No, West County of course."

Give it some time, it will catch on.

Mission: Impossible

I am an optimist. I am also a realist. I know what I am capable of and I know my limitations. When people say "anything is possible," it is both somewhat true and completely false. Anything is possible, that is realistic. For example, if I put my mind to it, I could probably become a police officer. It is realistic.

However, no matter how bad I want it, I will never be able to become a wolverine, or an alligator. Anything isn't possible.

Apparently nobody had this little talk with "the tiger man" who has decided to tattoo his whole body and mold his teeth so that he looks like a tiger.

Hollywood apparently wants us to believe that anything really is possible. Peter Pan flying to a star, that somewhere along the way turns into a tiny planet where only boys and pirates live. Or why, in any race sequence, does the good guy get behind, somehow have a burst of speed to catch up to the opponent, and then suddenly only be able to keep pace until the last second? Sometimes the message is subliminal. I mean, have you ever noticed. The name of the movie is "Mission:Impossible" and yet he is able to do it. Hmm...

Unicyclists

You know you're in Provo if...you see people riding their unicycle to school.

Yes, not one, not two, but several people ride a unicycle to school. I am not here to make fun of these people. In fact, I applaud their ability to do so because I'm sure it's not easy. But therein lies my concern; it's not easy. It looks like it takes more energy than walking.

So why do it? Are they showing off? We can only hope they're not trying to look cool. Are they trying to get a leg workout? And most importantly, why stop there? Why not hop a pogo-stick to school? or swing a hula hoop? The possibilities are endless.

Crowd Weaving

crowd weave \kraʊdˈwēv\
verb
past crowd wove \ˈwōv\ or weaved; weav·ing

a game played in crowded areas where participants attempt to direct (as the body) in a winding or zigzag course especially to avoid obstacles and collisions.

Yes, based on recent trends, we may see crowd weaving in the 2012 olympics. And if so, you may very well be reading the blog of a future olympian. I am pretty good at crowd weaving. I've been doing it since high school, where I learned from the great Zach VanHecke. The trick to crowd weaving is anticipating openings before they happen. You have to quickly estimate where holes will form based on how fast each person is walking and which direction they are going. Needless to say, when a crowd forms I am the first one out the other end.

If football were played at walking speed, I would be a professional running back.

Bees

If I were a bee making a movie about aliens from another planet, I would hire wasps to play the alien roles. That way I could save money on costumes and put it towards other more important things, like special effects or a good soundtrack.

Olympics 2

Yes, the US won in the overall metal count. But China beat us in gold metals. Is this upsetting? Very. But there is some consolation that comes when considering which metals we won, and which on they won.

We won men and womens basketball!!! They won women's archery...
We won men and womens beach volleyball!!! They won women's badminton...
We DOMINATED in swimming. They dominated in table tennis.

Basically, most of the metals they won were events that shouldn't have been included in the Olympics. So really, did we get more real gold metals than China? You tell me.

Olympics

We are in the middle of some exciting Olympics. Therefore this something that needs to be discussed. No, its not what you all think. I'm not going to go on about why Women's Badminton should not even be an event, nor will I complain about the fact that only the minor league baseball players go to represent the US. No, what I want to know is why there are so many different strokes for swimming.

Seriously though, we all know that if two people were racing to the other side of the pool neither one of them would choose to do the butterfly to get there. Why is there even a butterfly.

You don't see the skip, crab-walk, or backwards run as events in track and field. That's what they should do for swimming. They should let the athletes decide which stroke they want to do, but the first one there and back wins regardless. That would get rid of these shenanigans. Breaststroke? I don't think so.

Watermelon

Watermelon may very well be the best flavor. Why? Well, think about it. Watermelon itself is very good. (It's like you're eating and drinking at the same time). Then you got the watermelon Jolly Ranchers, which are excellent, watermelon Blow-Pops, Popsicles, basically anything with watermelon flavoring tastes good.

Apple flavoring is hit or miss. Grape either tastes really good or it tastes like cold medicine. A lot of the other ones don't even taste like a fruit, or anything else for that matter. Some companies have even given up trying to pretend that it has any real flavor to it so they just call it "blue" or "red" or whatever. Actually, not even the watermelon flavoring tastes like watermelon, but it does taste good.

Eating disorder?

Why do we start off with salad?

I agree that dessert should go last, because it is the easiest to find room for, but it makes more sense to eat the main dish first and then salad.

The main dish is what you need to fit down there. Salad is light, and easy to polish off after you've eaten the meat and potatoes. I mean, when you pack a suit case you don't throw a couple of shirts in first. You stick your shoes in there and books and anything else that takes up a lot of room that can't be squeezed in later...same basic principle.

I dunno, maybe most people aren't trying to figure out how to fit more food in their stomach.

How I eat corn

I normally eat my corn in rows, left to right.
When I put my pants on, I put my left leg on first.
When I take them off, I take off my left leg first.
But, when I put my shoes on, I put my right shoe on first.
When I eat, I hold my fork in my right hand, and my knife in my left.
I normally sneeze in twos, and it's normally when I walk outside that I need to sneeze.
The toilet paper should roll forward, over the top, not behind like some people put it.
When I brush my teeth, I start on the bottom left.
I do everything right handed and right footed, but if I'm bored in class I take notes with my left hand to practice for when I break my hand or something, if that ever happens.
I part my hair on the left side, even though it always disappears after a couple of minutes.
The vision in my left eye is worse than in my right eye, but with my contacts in I see better with my left eye.

Weird huh?

Lost and Found

Have you seen me? My name is Jon's cell phone.

This is all that is left of my phone...a picture of it, that isn't actually it, but one that looks just like it but newer that I found on the web.

If I were my cell phone, where would I be? I don't really know, because I've never been a cell phone before.

I do tend to lose things more than other people. I have lost lots of things out here at BYU; tons and tons of pens and pencils, my TI-83, my camera, a sweet highlighter that had a pen on it too, a pair of converse all-stars, my basketball shoes, a pair of jeans, a BYU t-shirt, a black belt, a BYU hoodie, two beanies (in one winter), my keys (many times), my wallet (especially during vacation; i've had to use my passport at least twice that I can remember as ID to get on a plane), my phone, my car (twice, for a while I thought it was stolen), a flash drive (got it back in the BYU lost and found), and my watch (got it back twice in the lost and found) to name a few.

I guess I'm scatterbrained. A lot of the time my hands just pick stuff up and put them places as I pace around (another habit of mine). My mind isn't even conscious of it.

I'm surprised I've never accidentally stolen something while shopping.

Bottled Water

After much contemplation, I still can't figure out why people keep buying bottled water.

You can buy a bottle of water for up to a dollar at some places, so a gallon would be three or four dollars...That as much as gas costs. Gas!

I know we all need water to survive, but nobody needs to spend a dollar on a bottle of water. "What? Do you think water is just falling from the sky?" Yes! Water is the most abundant resource on the planet. It is literally everywhere. Some places in the world have so much water they are flooding, and they are trying to get rid of the water.

I know what some of you are thinking. "But I buy my water in bulk at Costco so it's only 30 cents a bottle." Well I've got secret for you. It's free! Just turn on the tap...

Opposite Day

When we were little, my brothers and sisters and I would pick days that would be opposite day, and then we would say the opposite of what we meant to each other...Also a good way to get out of doing chores when you're asked.

Chew on this though; you can never say "It's opposite day" and not be lying.

Antisocial?

Sometimes when I see people I know in random places where I didn't expect to see them, I don't feel like talking to them so I avoid them.

It's worse if I can't remember their name. In that case I duck, turn, or do whatever I have to do to avoid coming into their line of sight. If I know their name then I might go up to them and say hi, or I might just start walking in the other direction even though that's not where I want to go...just depends on my mood. (None of this applies to people I know really well, just people that I kind of know, like that used to be in my ward or something but I never really got to know them).

I don't think I'm agoraphobic or anything, nor do I think I'm antisocial. It's just so awkward sometimes, and I avoid awkwardness.

I also think it's awkward after a temple sealing when everyone hugs the bride and groom (or kisses in Jared Meier's case) on their way out. I don't think most people think this is awkward, I just...I don't know, but it is.

Actually, I just looked up antisocial on the source of all knowledge (wikipedia) and decided that I am not antisocial, but it looks like I may have albuminurophobia, anglophobia, and arachibutyrophobia.

Abbreviations

Some peeps use lots of abbreviations, not only in writing, but in speech. Some common examples include: the mish, jk, bfd, lol, cpk, mickey d's, the peaks, and bom.

I say these sometimes, mostly as a joke, but I can't tell if I'm being funny, or being a loser...whatevs, I think it comes with being LDS. We abbreviate everything; mia, motab, jsb...ttyl

No offense

Anytime you have to start out by saying, "No offense, but" you are going to offend someone.

Why would anyone think that asking the person not to take offense before saying something would change whether or not they take offense?

"No offense, but you are the lamest person I know."
"Hmm, well, I would normally take offense to that, but since he told me 'no offense' I guess I can't be offended."

Not likely.

Records

"The Dark Knight" recently broke records, a box office record of $66.4M among others. However, it seems like every year movies are breaking records. Why could that be possibly? Hmm, I wonder. Could it be that we are completely ignoring a little thing I like to call "inflation"?

Maybe this is the economist in me, but if I were the one keeping the record books, I would adjust all records set in the US and elsewhere for the inflation in each represented country. It only makes sense. I mean, a movie in the 40's never could have made $66.4M so quickly, even if twice as many people went to see it as saw "The Dark Knight."

For similar reasons, I don't think it is fair to compare athletes from different eras. When people try to say "John Doe was the greatest tennis player that ever played," it's hard for me to really swallow that. Who knows if he was the best. He never played any of the greats from other eras.

Not only are the players constantly changing, but in a lot of sports rules even change, and conditions, not to mention hair styles and shorts length. I only think its fair to assign a player, "the greatest player of his time" titles. Like Michael Jordan for example. He was the greatest basketball player of his time. But we don't need to waste time comparing him to people that played decades before him, nor do we need to compare him to next years rookies.

But that's just my opinion.

Sleep Theories

I have two sleep theories based on personal observations.

1. The benefits of sleep follow the pattern outlined in this graph. It basically says that there isn't a lot of benefit from getting only a few hours of sleep, but the jump between getting six and seven hours of sleep is a huge difference. And between seven and eight is a big difference too, but after eight the benefits don't increase much, and even start to go down. When you get more than nine hours of sleep, you just feel like a loser the rest of the day.

2. When you don't get very much sleep, the effects are stronger the following day, and not the day that you got little sleep. So if you only get four hours of sleep, that day you may not be too tired, but the day after you will be drained, even if you get lots of sleep that night. That's why two nights before a test is when I try to get a good nights rest.

Of course, neither of these are tested (by me at least, maybe someone out there has proven them true or false) but they seem true to me.

Sprinklers

Why are there so many sprinklers that water the sidewalk? Seriously, every time I go running someone has a sprinkler on that is watering the sidewalk.

I mean, when I'm running I don't even care, cause it feels good, but is it really that difficult to just water your lawn?

I'm not necessarily talking about the sprinklers that attach on the end of a hose, because I guess sometimes those are harder to adjust and what not, but if you have a system installed in your house, wouldn't they be able to make it just water the grass when they install it?

Even parks (and BYU) have water running down the street and into the sewer because they miss the lawn.

Obviously it's not a really big problem, but a peculiar one because it doesn't seem like it would be too hard to fix.

Maybe that is the problem right there...it's so simple that nobody will bring themselves to fix it, kind of like how I keep avoiding organizing this pile of stuff that has accumulated next to my bed. It wouldn't take long, but, I dunno...you know?

Jell-O

This is an imitation Barbie in imitation Jell-O...

I obtained this doll from an April Fools joke played on me this year. I figured it would be funny to stick it under my roommate's pillow one day, and then it turned into a game...we would take turns hiding her till the other one found her. She made it on the ceiling fan (luckily I saw her before I turned it on), in the shower, in the refrigerator (holding the milk jug), and for this last one I put her Jell-O...she is supposed to look like she is swimming.

Favorites

Hey-o, everyone out there in SyberWorld. Here are some of my favorites (I can't include things like favorite movie or candy bar because I can't decide...):

My Favorite...
Color: Blue
Holiday: Christmas
Hymns: "Joseph Smith's First Prayer" and "Redeemer of Israel"
Church Movie: "Mr. Kruger's Christmas"
Six Flags Ride: Batman
Cartoon: Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner
Children's Game: Hide and Seek
Ninja Turtle: Michaelangelo
Number: Infinity+2...there's nothing higher than that
Harry Potter Book: Half-Blood Prince
Chips: Hint of Lime Tostitos
Disney Princess: Aurora
Harrison Ford Movie: The Fugitive
Bad Actress: Emma Watson
Good Actress: Audrey Hepburn
Utahism: Expecially (meaning especially...incidentally, if you are from Utah, you may not know what I'm talking about)
Church Dance Fast Song: Come on Eileen - Dexy's Midnight Runners
Church Dance Slow Song: I Do It for You - Bryan Adams (I like this one because you get to the point in the song where it sounds like it is over so you stop dancing and then it starts up again and there is that awkward 'should I go find the girl I just stopped dancing with and keep dancing?' struggle)

The Hungry Shopper

Have you ever been grocery shopping when you're hungry? It is a totally different experience than when you are not hungry. Everything looks good. Normally you eye prices, compare foods, look around...but when you're hungry you just start throwing things in your cart, not even thinking about it.

Canned asparagus? Yeah that looks good. How about some sardines in oil? Why not, it's got protein.

Then you rush home and eat something and you're not hungry anymore and you look back at all the food you just bought and realize what just did...bought a bunch of food you will never eat. No joke, I have even been tempted to buy those milk bone dog treats before...they kind of look like they have frosting on the outside...might be good, I don't know...the dogs sure like them.

Zipper Noise

It's always hard to open up your scriptures when everything is quiet during a lesson or a talk or something because there is that loud zipper noise. You have to make that key decision: do you try and do it quick enough that it's not distracting to everyone, or do you try to do it slowly so it doesn't make very much noise?

Mostly I go slowly and try to muffle the noise by putting my finger on the zipper as I go, but my new scripture case doesn't muffle well...

It's also awkward when you are trying to have a whisper conversation with someone in a quiet area, like the library or in a class, when they don't really know how to whisper.

Some people are just whisper shouters...

Cardinal Nation

Ok, I don't mean to poke fun of Hank Steinbrenner, but after reading this quote I seriously wonder about his grasp on reality:

"This is a Yankee country. We're going to put the Yankees back on top and restore the universe to order."

Restore the universe to order? I don't think there needs to be any retaliation to this comment...I don't think anyone will take it seriously...

Forwards

I always wonder about these forwarded mass emails. What do I wonder?...I wonder why?

Why am I supposed to forward it to everyone I know within five minutes?
Why will it bring me good luck if I do?
Why should I believe that it worked for someone else when I don't even know them or how lucky they are?
Why should I believe any of the ridiculous stats they throw at me, like "this email has already made it around the world ten times?" What does that even mean?
What disaster could possibly befall me should I delete the email before forwarding it?

Really though, is someone trying to break a world record with these seemingly pointless forward emails, or what? I wonder...

To quote Michael Scott, "I'm not super stitious...but I am a little stitious."

Movie Talkers

I know I do things that are annoying to some people, so if I know that it annoys someone I stop doing it, but otherwise I just go for it, like singing in the shower (one time I woke up Mike on accident, I didn't realize I was so loud), singing along with songs in the car (but I always invite everyone else to sing along too, and I turn up the music so we all sound just like the actual singer), quoting movies as they go (I just can't help myself sometimes), making fun of movies as you watch them.

I mean, what is the point of watching a movie by yourself? The most fun part is making comments about the movie as it goes, and if you're alone, you would just be talking to yourself, in which case you are definitely not annoying anyone, but you might have other issues.

The exception to talking is if you are seeing the movie for the first time and it is kind of complicated, in which case you might miss crucial dialog.

On a side note, I have seen one movie by myself in the theater, but that was one of those, "we'll meet you inside" deals where they never showed up. Am I a loser because of that? No, they are the losers. But actually, it was kind of lame movie, so maybe...we'll call it a draw.

Movie Titles

Fake movies that sound like they would be bad movies, yet people would probably still see:

Once Upon a Nightmare (A man comes back from the dead suffering from amnesia and falls in love with his daughter only to find that she is a zombie)

Back to the Shire (Author JR Tolkien, as a result of childhood trauma, becomes schizophrenic and develops a second personality as a hobbit)

Not Another High School Football Movie (...the underdogs win...)

Love Me Twice, Shame on Me (An unlikely couple finds love only to discover that she has a terminal illness. After they break up she is miraculously cured and they get back together only to have him dump her once again for unrelated reasons)

Death Sentence (An uneducated man receives a letter in the mail that contains only one sentence and he must correct its grammar within one week or else he will die)

Old Timers

There are many things I'm grateful for. Most of them are obvious, but some of them you might not guess. Like I'm grateful that spelling was not a school subject after third grade. I'm also grateful I wasn't born in the future. Based on most futuristic movies things are not going to be as good as you might think. I'm also grateful that I'm old enough to remember when Vanilla Ice was cool, but young enough at the time that I never actually tried to be like him...

It's funny to think about the things I used to think we were all saying, and then when I got older I finally realized we were saying something else. Like "old timer's disease" (Alzheimer's) or that we are "human beans." Actually, I think that last one was what Rob used to think...

Dreams

I almost always wake up remembering dreams. Even when I take naps or fall asleep in class, I normally remember some weird dream I was having. My dreams are just that though: weird. Occasionally they are really sad or disturbing. I have died many many times in my dreams, and on occasion somebody else dies, but mostly its me, and I spend the rest of the dream as a spirit.

You know how you dream that you're falling and then you wake up right before you hit the ground? I just hit the ground and then float around as a ghost the rest of the dream. I have accidentally driven a bus off a cliff (Carter was in it with me, and I apologized for my reckless driving as we were falling), been shot in the head (this one was actually kind of cool because I could feel the hot blood run down the side of my face before I actually died), and been wiped out by an atomic bomb (I could see the mushroom cloud and the wall of fire headed my way and I knew that it was useless to run so I just stood there and took it) just to name a few ways. I've even tried to find the spirit world in a dream before, because I knew that was where I was supposed to go next.

Does all of this mean that I am destined to face death someday?...I can't really say...but yes.

Men's Shoes

Myth: Men do not have a lot of shoes.

Fact: Men do have a lot of shoes.

The reason for this common misconception is that guys do not often have a ton of casual shoes, just a couple pair that will match anything. However, we have to get shoes for lots of other purposes: basketball, running, church, yard work, flip flops, cleats, etc.

Women, however, have lots of shoes for a different reason: a pair for every outfit...very different from guys since we don't even have "outfits," we just have clothes.

Otter*Pops

Otter Pops are amazing. I don't even pretend that I'm going to eat just one anymore. I usually grab a whole sleeve and bring the scissors with me.

As for the other imitation brands. Some of them can be good, but I haven't met any that are quite as good, and some are actually pretty bad. And since Otter Pops come out to 3.5 cents each, it is worth going with the name brand on this one.

Red Heads

Most people think all red-heads look alike. I can't tell you how many times I have been talking with someone and another red head passes by and they ask me, "Hey are you guys related?" or "Hey there's your twin."

Oh yeah? Well you don't see me going around telling you you look just like everyone else with blond hair, or brown hair, or whatever color hair you have. Why? Oh c'mon!

Even in movies. People have told me I look like this guy from "A Beautiful Mind" and "A Knight's Tale."

...the funniest part is that you all reading this are probably looking at the picture thinking, "yeah, you do look just like him."

Bad Sequels

There are a lot of bad sequels out there. Why? This is my theory. If the first movie is good, the film makers figure that if they make another movie everyone who liked the first one will still see the second one even if it gets bad reviews.

The real problem is this: they are right!

Disney takes the most advantage of this fact. I feel like they make seconds of any and every movie and only a select few are any good. Think about it. Pocahontas II? Yeah. That's why we shouldn't go see bad sequels. If it gets bad reviews, don't go.

There are the rare sequels that are actually better than their predecessors. Like Rocky IV was the best one. Bourne Ultimatum may be the best of the three, but that's debatable.

Then there are the sequels that start to get ridiculous. How many Land Before Times are they going to make? And High School Musical III? Hmm...

Merit Badges

A few merit badge ideas that the BSA never approved: