Womanese is an interesting language. It sounds just like English but is basically a language of false cognates that throw off non-speakers. You may think you understood perfectly when in reality you did not. (Refer to the image of the old man contemplates womanese with Willow). I don't claim to speak womanese, but I have picked up a few phrases here and there. For example (translation in italics):
Notice anything new?
I can't believe you didn't already say something about my new outfit (or whatever it is) but I'm giving you a chance to redeem yourself by noticing now and telling me how much you love it
I'm not ready for a relationship right now
I don't want to have a relationship with you. Hopefully someone else comes along.
We should hang out sometime
Why haven't you asked me out yet!
It's up to you
Pick what I want
I just want to get to know you better
I don't want to see you again
I just want to get to know you better
I don't want to see you again
Let me think about it
No
Maybe
Still no
No
That was a stupid question
7 comments:
After marriage you have to learn a whole new dialect--Wifish. It's even more tricky.
Would you like to go to the store with me?
Translation: Get in the car, NOW.
Hi, Honey.
Translation: Do the dishes and take out the garbage, NOW.
You don't need to get me anything for my birthday. Money's a little tight right now.
Translation: I want to be suprised with a diamond necklace and dinner at one of those uncomfortable restaurants that charges $100 a plate.
You forgot "I'm fine"
Translation: I'm Frustrated. Insecure. Neurotic. and Exhausted.
I love this post!
Here is a little Manese:
Will you (insert task here)?- Woman
::Silence::- Man
Translation: Maybe if I am really quiet, she will forget that I am here.
I would add my own, but I don't want to give away the secrets of my kind...
hmm... all that secret language stuff confuses me way too much! ive been talking my whole life not knowing there was a secret set of sub titles that guys got... now im worried about what its getting transalted to... shoot you just made life way more complicated for me. im really gonna have to think about all this!
I just wet myself from laughter.
Jon and I were talking about this a couple days ago. I invited some guy to watch fireworks with us after work and he said, "Cool. I'll see." We both agreed that in manese and womanese, that always comes out to "Not gonna be there." And we were right, although he may have tried to come because he texted and said the road was blocked off. Who knows.
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