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Where do my pens and pencils keep going? Every semester I buy more, and by the end I only have a couple left. I can only remember where one has gone this semester, and it was destroyed, eradicated by chemicals I spilled on it during my chem lab.
The rest seem to have spontaneously combusted...only a pile of green powder remains, I would guess.
These are the stepping stones at Santa Barbara Villa.
They are a perfect length from each other...if you are four years old. For us adults who live here, however, it makes for an awkward walk from your apartment to your car. You end up either taking babysteps the whole way, giant leaps to skip every other one, or you end up walking on the grass next to the steps (what I normally do), completely defeating the purpose of having them there.
It's kind of like when you are walking down steps that are really long (as in the photo on the left), and you end up taking one step on one, and then two steps on the next, and you end up looking like you have a peg leg. So, yeah...
"Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!"
Yes, identity theft is a problem, and it brings up an interesting question. What would happen if I killed someone who had stolen my identity? Is it murder? Or is it suicide? Well, who did I kill? Myself, right? So it couldn't be murder. And in a court of law, I would win the case against it being suicide. Who would believe I committed suicide if I can tell them to their face that I didn't.
Before I begin, I would like to say that I think southern California is a beautiful place, and I know lots of cool people from there.
Ok, how do you know when someone is from northern California? Because when they introduce themselves, they will say "I'm from California." If they were from southern California, they would have said, "I'm from southern California."
Maybe we should all start specifying which part of the state we're from.
"I'm from E-Mo."
"Where?"
"You know, Eastern Missouri."
Or how about people who say they're from the OC. They abbreviate the county they're from...and add 'the' in front of it for some reason. I guess I could do that too.
"Where specifically in Missouri are you from?"
"The WC."
"What is that, like, water closet?"
"No, West County of course."
Give it some time, it will catch on.
I am an optimist. I am also a realist. I know what I am capable of and I know my limitations. When people say "anything is possible," it is both somewhat true and completely false. Anything is possible, that is realistic. For example, if I put my mind to it, I could probably become a police officer. It is realistic.
However, no matter how bad I want it, I will never be able to become a wolverine, or an alligator. Anything isn't possible.
Apparently nobody had this little talk with "the tiger man" who has decided to tattoo his whole body and mold his teeth so that he looks like a tiger.
Hollywood apparently wants us to believe that anything really is possible. Peter Pan flying to a star, that somewhere along the way turns into a tiny planet where only boys and pirates live. Or why, in any race sequence, does the good guy get behind, somehow have a burst of speed to catch up to the opponent, and then suddenly only be able to keep pace until the last second? Sometimes the message is subliminal. I mean, have you ever noticed. The name of the movie is "Mission:Impossible" and yet he is able to do it. Hmm...
You know you're in Provo if...you see people riding their unicycle to school.
Yes, not one, not two, but several people ride a unicycle to school. I am not here to make fun of these people. In fact, I applaud their ability to do so because I'm sure it's not easy. But therein lies my concern; it's not easy. It looks like it takes more energy than walking.
So why do it? Are they showing off? We can only hope they're not trying to look cool. Are they trying to get a leg workout? And most importantly, why stop there? Why not hop a pogo-stick to school? or swing a hula hoop? The possibilities are endless.
crowd weave \kraʊdˈwēv\
verb
past crowd wove \ˈwōv\ or weaved; weav·ing
a game played in crowded areas where participants attempt to direct (as the body) in a winding or zigzag course especially to avoid obstacles and collisions.
Yes, based on recent trends, we may see crowd weaving in the 2012 olympics. And if so, you may very well be reading the blog of a future olympian. I am pretty good at crowd weaving. I've been doing it since high school, where I learned from the great Zach VanHecke. The trick to crowd weaving is anticipating openings before they happen. You have to quickly estimate where holes will form based on how fast each person is walking and which direction they are going. Needless to say, when a crowd forms I am the first one out the other end.
If football were played at walking speed, I would be a professional running back.
If I were a bee making a movie about aliens from another planet, I would hire wasps to play the alien roles. That way I could save money on costumes and put it towards other more important things, like special effects or a good soundtrack.
These are the stepping stones at Santa Barbara Villa.
If I were a bee making a movie about aliens from another planet, I would hire wasps to play the alien roles. That way I could save money on costumes and put it towards other more important things, like special effects or a good soundtrack.
