Sugar

"Too sweet?! How can something be too sweet?! What, is it too good?! I mean I can see something being too sour or too bitter, but too sweet?!"

- Rob

I can only agree with you Rob. I have quite a sweet tooth, but I can't help it, it's in my genes. Grandpa Hintze, Dad, Amy. I mean, how does anyone not have a sweet tooth? How does candy or cake or karo syrup not taste good to them?

I just don't get it. Sweet is good. May I modify a quote.

"Don't try to make it too sweet, that would be impossible. Only try to realize the truth."

"What truth?"

"There is no too sweet."

Internet

My posts have become few and far between. This is because I don't have any internet where I live. I have essentially warped back into the early 90s. And when I'm working, and have access to the internet, I don't have anything good to post about. All my ideas come when I'm at home, singing in the shower, throwing around the bouncy ball, or staring at the ceiling...

Bottles

Why do they put the conditioner in the good container on the right and the shampoo in the less good container on the left?

Don't we all agree that one is superior? It's like the ketchup companies that still put their ketchup in the bottles that are way harder to get the ketchup from.

Towel Racks

It seems like no matter where I go, the towel rack doesn't quite fit two towels on it. One is always a little scrunched up.

I wonder if it is a conspiracy. Like hot dogs and hot dog buns.

Movie Ratings

When I am browsing through movies, I don't only like to see what they are rated, I like to see why they are rated what they are. You'd be surprised sometimes with what you find. Sure there's the usual "For violence, mild peril, and some innuendo," but every once in a while they have other reasons for the rating. Like:

Quirky situations - Charlie and The Chocolate Factory

Some double-entendres - Dr. Seuss' The Cat In The Hat

Swashbuckling action - Shrek the Third

Intense depiction of very bad weather - Twister

Non-stop creature action violence - Van Helsing

Keep your eyes peeled, and I'm sure you'll find some good ones.

Native American

When you hear the words "Native American" what do you think?  Maybe a dark-skinned, black-haired person with a feather in his hair, like the guy in the photo.  That is such a stereotype.

Well, guess what?  I know a Native American with light skin and red hair who wears cardinals hats.  Me.

Yes, I am a Native American.  100%, actually.  I was born in America, and if I'm not Native American what am I?  I rest my case.

Sign Wavers

We've all seen them, and we can't avoid them: sign wavers. They stand on street corners all over the nation spinning, twirling, and in all other ways waving their signs around to try to get your business.

How effective are they? I don't know, but they haven't convinced me to shop anywhere, and if anything have deterred me.

I don't know that there is much job security for a sign waver in these economically hard times we are going through. It seems like they would be so easily replaced by, you know, a pole or something.

That would be a hard one to take wouldn't it? You show up to work and your boss lays you off, and when you ask why he doesn't say its downsizing or that you've been doing a bad job, but he just realized he could buy a $5 post to hold up the sign and have the same effect.

...poor sign wavers...

Wedding Tickets

What if instead of wedding announcements, you sent out wedding tickets? That way you wouldn't have to worry about wedding crashers.

I showed Laura this example of what our tickets could look like...we didn't end up going with it in the end.

Observations

A couple final observations from 2008.

For some reason, when waiters pour water, they always pour out of the side of the pitcher, and not from the spout. A lot of the time some water spills on the table.

When I tried to find nail clippers at the store, I couldn't find them near all of the other personal hygiene items. You would think they would be next to the shaving cream or the tooth brushes, but no. I was finally informed that they were next to all of the women's nail care stuff, which was surrounded by other female-only items like lipstick and makeup. I almost didn't want to go over there to get them. There are certain parts of the store that I just prefer to avoid.

Since it's the beginning of a new year, let me know what your favorite post was from last year. Maybe I can do more like that...

Spelling Bee

I'm the first to admit it. I am not a good speller. It's just one of those things. English doesn't have any rhyme or reason to the way things are spelled, so how am I supposed to know how to spell things.

The i before e rule only works half the time, I don't even know why we teach that one. Sometimes it's f, sometimes is ph, x can sound like a z, c and k are the same. Its a joke. Silent es are all over the place.

The worst is when you ask someone how to spell something and they say to look it up. Uh, if I don't know how to spell it, how am I supposed to look it up?

8-minute abs

8-minute abs is a joke. Anyone who has done them would agree. I mean, isn't the point of a workout to get stronger.

I didn't even feel sore the next day when I did 8-minute abs. I dropped out after the first 20 seconds and just laid there until the rest of the 8 minutes was up. It was way too hard.

But lets be honest, even if you have the strongest abs in the world buried under two inches of fat nobody is going to see your six pack...it will look more like a keg. If you want to work on your six pack, running on the tread mill might be more useful.

Anyway, I don't think any normal human being can actually do 8-minute abs. If you can...then you are not a normal human being...

Let Go

When you have a job, you can either quit, get fired, or be let go.

I recently learned about the difference between getting fired and being let go. Apparently being let go is the result of downsizing or related problems, where you didn't actually do a bad job, but they can't keep you.

I wonder if there is a word for a similar situation in dating relationships. I mean, you can break up with someone, be dumped or...what? What is the equivalent of being let go? You know, like when you are dating someone and they are doing a good job but you can't keep dating them because you are moving to China, or you ran out of money or something...I wonder.

Sith

I love fruit...fruit roll-ups, fruit snacks, trix...

Anyway, I had a deep thought earlier when talking with Rob. When Obi-Wan tells Anakin that "only a Sith deals in absolutes," was he admitting to being a Sith?

Robots

Jim: "Can Humans and Robots ever peacefully coexist?"
Dwight: "Impossible...with the way they're programmed."

Well, guess what. Robots will never take over the world. I saw WALL.E last night and couldn't ignore the fact that it is basically another movie about robots almost taking over the human race. This is not the first movie of its kind. There is iRobot, Eagle Eye, the Matrix, and 2001: A Space Odyssey to name a few.

But seriously, robots will never take over the world, and they will never have feelings and emotions...and that's all I have to say about that.

Afros

Afros aren't as "in" as they used to be. I mean, think about how many people used to have afros and don't any more.














Michael Jackson...
















Dr. J....














Me...
Who knows, maybe they will come back into style some day.

Olive Skin

Rob and I were talking about it the other day, and we decided that nobody actually has "olive" skin. I mean, take Jennifer Lopez for example. Most people would say that she has "olive" skin, but it does not look olive colored to me. It looks more like light brown/skin colored.


To illustrate this point, take a look at this picture of Jennifer Lopez, and then look at these olive. Same color? No, not really.






This is her with olive skin. I think the only people who could claim olive skin are Cain and the Wicked Witch of the West.

Restroom Music

I think public restrooms should provide music.

I mean, sometimes you go in there, there are only two stalls and one is used, so you have no choice but to pick the other one. So there you are, sitting there, maybe reading the paper, working on a crossword, but, without going into any detail, there are sounds that would be nice to have drowned out.

Maybe it would be different if you knew the other person, but for a stranger in the neighboring stall, the only thing you really know about them is their gender, and what kind of shoes they wear, and maybe their waist size if you have really good vision, depending on the stall set-up.

All I'm saying is a little background music could easy the awkwardness of the presently silent public restrooms.

Hat Day

Marie Munson, an elementary school teacher, recently reminded me of "days" that I had in elementary school.

There was "hat day," "pocket day," "backwards day," etc. I hope that wherever I end up working has some of those days.

That would be sweet.

Diversity Day

There are some actors who are very diverse, and some who are not. For example, Jon Voight is an extremely diverse actor. Maybe even too diverse. Seriously, for ANY movie you go to, regardless of genre, there is a possibility he is going to pop up somewhere, and you never know if he is going to be a good guy or a bad guy. Here are some movies he has been in:
National Treasurer - a kooky dad
Transformers - the secretary of defense
Holes - Mr. Sir
Tomb Raider - Lara Croft's dad (which is funny cause he really is Angelina's dad)
Zoolander - his dad
Anaconda - the bad guy
Mission Impossible - the bad guy
Catch-22 - a lieutenant

Then you have Nicolas Cage who plays the "you're supposed to like this guy by the end of the movie" good guy. For example:
National Treasurer
Gone in Sixty Seconds
The Rock (TV edit)
Con Air (TV edit)
The Family Man
I dunno, I guess he has some diversity, but I feel like he acts the same character in all his movies even if they are supposed to be different.

Literally

Vizzini: "He didn't fall? Inconceivable!"
Inigo: "You keep using that word. I do not think it means, what you think it means."

Yes, well I suggest another word that is commonly misused: literally.

How many times have you heard someone say something like, "I saw my score and I was literally bouncing of the walls!" Or how about, "That was a rough interview. He literally chewed her out!"

Ironically, in these situations "literally" has come to mean "figuratively." But if I hear another person use that word wrong I will hit them so hard they will literally be launched all the way to China.

No, I'm just kidding, it doesn't even bother me really. It's just funny to think about.

Kind of like how when someone says "Say when" we say "when" and we're not even trying to be funny. I bet whoever made that up thought it was really funny, but everyone stole his joke, so much so that it's not even a joke anymore.